


Delirium

by shleeps



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Body Horror, Horror, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 07:30:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18494248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shleeps/pseuds/shleeps
Summary: All was beginning to fade to black, but the sound of another jumping into the wet abyss dragged his shutting eyes away from the growing darkness and towards the body. The gloomy body reached out to him and he reached back to it.But as soon as their hands met he was met with chilling flashes of dark red. Sounds of what seemed to be loud booms sounded off in his head along with a masculine voice that echoed and repeated throughout his mind like a record player in an abandoned home.“Jon!”Jonathan shot up out of his bed, gasping for air and digging his fingers harshly into the sheets below him. His body shuddered as cold air swept over him and his attention shot over to a stand fan he had left on. He couldn’t process anything at the moment, he was in too much shock.





	1. Nightmare

Jonathan stood there, whipping his head about to find something, to find anything. Everything was black, everything around him was black, no matter where he looked there was black. It surrounded his entire being in such a way that felt excruciatingly uncomfortable, like someone had sealed him into an airtight bag and left him there to suffocate.

He fell short of breath in the darkness. He had no clue where he was and the paranoia was beginning to reach and grab at him from all directions. He wanted there to be something, a light, another person, an animal, just anything to lead him away and hopefully save him from the feeling of this entrapment. And as if to reply to his wishes, beams illuminated the blackness from above. But. . . something was off with them. 

They swayed and rippled in motions that filled him with utter confusion. It was almost as if he was under-

He was ready to start verbally questioning what was going on but the piercing cold had completely cut him off. It had crashed into his very body, beginning at his feet and flowing through his shoes until it had totally devoured the man. 

All gravity had disappeared, he no longer was being pulled towards what seemed to be the bottom but flowing upward to the light of above. His vision was becoming gradually more and more blurred as time went on. He was losing oxygen. In a panic, he began to try to swim upwards. 

His arms moved like a industrial machine, pushing water downwards in attempt to save himself, but he wasn’t moving. He tried to go faster, but still there was nothing other than the swishing of his movements and roaring silence of death trailing behind the desperate man. His heart was thumping crazily in his chest but he couldn’t tell if it was from the freezing cold or the fear that was spewing its way all throughout his body. He was so overwhelmed that he began to cry but it all only made the situation worse. 

He grabbed for his throat as he choked on the liquid rushing down his lungs and burned as if they were set on fire, bubbles spewed out of his mouth as his face contorted into him silently screaming. The man was violently shaking, his eyes beginning to flutter as he began fall backwards and slowly sink back to the bottom. 

All was beginning to fade to black, but the sound of another jumping into the wet abyss dragged his shutting eyes away from the growing darkness and towards the body. The gloomy body reached out to him and he reached back to it. 

But as soon as their hands met he was met with chilling flashes of dark red. Sounds of what seemed to be loud booms sounded off in his head along with a masculine voice that echoed and repeated throughout his mind like a record player in an abandoned home.

“Jon!”

Jonathan shot up out of his bed, gasping for air and digging his fingers harshly into the sheets below him. His body shuddered as cold air swept over him and his attention shot over to a stand fan he had left on. He couldn’t process anything at the moment, he was in too much shock. 

Sure he had nightmares before but nothing had been nearly as vague and menacing as that. His cheeks were hot, the tears he had poured out smudged into his skin while a single drop rolled down to the jaw. He closed both eyes, deeply inhaling and exhaling to the white noise of the fan across the room. Whatever the hell that was, it really spooked Jon. 

It took awhile for him to fully calm down but even after he tottered from side to side before walking normally and turning off the fan. He let out a long sigh and leaned against it. He didn’t have to do anything that day which made him rather pleased, working to edit and record a stock of videos really did paid off.

A weak smile crossed its way as he removed himself from the fan and went to the curtains. He was going to try to be positive and get through his day without worrying about this cryptic dream. 

As much as he wanted to go in deeper and really break everything down piece by piece, this dream, this nightmare he had spiked pain in his mind and made his heart race. Everything about that thing gave him chills that soared down his spine. 

He couldn’t think of any reason as to why he should have had one either. He didn’t recall eating before bed and hadn’t been on medication for weeks. He supposed maybe the withdrawal from it was the reasoning but those kinds of medication were for sickness and allergies. 

Another sigh escaped the man before he opened the curtains and was surprisingly greeted by the moon. It took him back at first with eyes wide but eventually his brows furrowed and he moved away from the fabric hanging above the windows. He had really hoped it was dawn or even morning already but he guessed his luck had been used up. 

The green vibrant light of his alarm clock shown dully as it read two. Yet again another disgruntled noise passed his lips as he left the room to clear his head. The images of the other body, the red, the sound of the singular booming noise thumped harshly at his temples with discomfort but hearing the name, the damned name caused the most agony. He hated it, he hated that he had that nightmare. 

What even was the point behind it? He didn’t recognize the voice, he never had heard it before and fuck if he ever did in the future then he would never go near a body of water again for the rest of his days. It was all too surreal and too close to reality. It was almost like it had happened before. . .

It had now been many long hours since Jon had woken up. The sun was out and beaming through the windows in his living room where he laid on the couch and followed each individual blade of the ceiling fan as it slowly made a gyration. He hadn’t look at the time in awhile but if he had to guess a number then he would’ve guessed somewhere between nine and ten which was a bit weird since he usually got up at those times rather than two.

Well, he used to get up at two so he could do all his work before school but that was several several years ago. He grunted as he got up from the couch and stretched a bit, yawning right as he finished. He blinked a few times but it was all from the exhaustion. Originally he was simply going to wake up at his usual time and play video games for fun but this had him all over the place.

And as much as he wanted to go back to bed there was that fear circling his mind that it would happen all over again. Jonathan moved about his living room as he picked up some throw pillows that he had accidently knocked off the couch when he had laid down before moving out of the room and into the hallway where he stared down the hallway to his bedroom. 

He pursed his lip staring into the dark room, getting a growing weird discomfort the longer he looked. There was of course nothing wrong with the room other than it being pitch black but he needed his phone. Jon took a few cautious steps forward before fully committing to the task at hand and making his way into the bedroom and next to the bedside table. The alarm clock gave some light but was nowhere near enough to fully illuminate where he needed to see. 

His hand ghosted blindly about the furniture, feeling around the slick corners until he felt the rubber-like cable that led to his phone. He disconnected the charger from the phone and watched as it came out of sleep mode. He had a few notifications, some from social media while others were emails and games but his interest wasn't focused on the notifications.

Jon unlocked his phone and went into messaging where he texted a close friend of his in an effort to see if he was interested in talking to him. He had to get something out, explain this nightmare to someone. And if it was going to be anyone then it was damn well going to be Luke.

He had known Luke for a very, very long time. He was a childhood friend that taught him how to laugh and smile even in the worst of situations, make a joke to lighten up the mood, and give people a chance. He was grateful to have met Luke and felt like it was a honor to be a part of his life. But, it wouldn't have happened unless. . . what had happened to him hadn't happened. Luke's father was a dedicated officer who worked to protect and serve his assigned county and one day he was sent to deal with a case that apparently included little Jon.

Luke's father had helped him despite not remembering a single thing. Where he had lived, who his parents were, and for a period of time he couldn't even remember his name. The first time he had met the wonderful man and his son was in the hospital but he didn't remember why he was there either. He couldn't remember anything. But his father was determined to help Jon out and find his parents, and unfortunately, they never did find them. 

They had a special bond that grew over interests and experiences, some being bad while others good, but in the end they saw each other as best friends and brothers. They barely kept secrets and when they were it was over something mundane like a birthday present rather than something that could end a friendship. 

The man moved away from the table and out of the room with phone in hand. Breakfast sounded nice right about then. 

It had been awhile since he had texted Luke and breakfast was almost fully there. The smell of cheesy scrambled eggs, cooking maple sausage, and a few buttered biscuits filled the kitchen air. The grease from the meat was making audible popping as it reacted to the heat beneath it and the sizzle of eggs as they began to cool along with it's separate pan. 

Breakfast biscuits sounded good and so breakfast biscuits Jon had made, well, was about to make. A smile snuck onto his face as the aromas filled his senses with anticipation. He turned off the stove tops seeing as everything was done and was ready to be served. It all looked wonderful and so colorful that all the thoughts about his nightmare slipped away from him. 

He was filled was a feeling of great accomplishment knowing that each part was going to work together perfectly to create the perfect little sandwich. “Fuck getting high on drugs,” he chuckled to himself, “I wanna get high off of this!” 

Carefully, as if he was playing a hardcore game of Jenga, he put each element into its desired place before putting the tops of one of the biscuits on the mountain. He began to salivate in its glory, reaching out to grab it and taste what was in store before his phone began to blare. His brows furrowed and he sighed. Who could be ruining this absolutely perfect moment? He turned to his phone that laid on the counter before picking it up and pressing the green button without looking at it, “Hello?”

“Hey! I'm sorry I didn't call you right away, I didn't see your message until I had gotten out of the shower.” Oh, Luke was the cock block! Ah, but he wasn't mad about it, he couldn't have been. 

“Oh shit! Hi- uh don't worry about it Luke. I was just about to eat but it can wait.”

“Eat? Oh god my timing has always been terrible, hasn't it?” he lightly chuckled, “You can eat while talking to me but I can't promise I won't make you laugh and have you choke. You made something good, didn't you?”

“Yep! And it's allllll mine. I can just wait on it, it's not like I can't heat it up later after talking with you for seven billion years,” he snickered.

“Good, then the bugs can eat it before you have a chance to.” Jon could hear the smile in the olders voice and grinned himself. His eyes darted over to the coffee machine and instantly felt the urge to get some as the bags under his eyes felt like they grew in size and desire. 

He walked over to it, switching which hand he held his phone in. “You ass, I'll make you something soon.” 

“You better!” Another tiny burst of laughter came from Luke. Jon giggled along as he pressed a button on the machine, getting the grounds ready before putting them in its correct place. There was a happy silence between them as he worked to get his drink. 

It was a bit of a pain to make coffee when he wanted it considering that he had the good ol’ traditional version rather than one of those fancy prepared cup types. He gently placed down his phone before climbing onto the counter and crossing his legs. He grabbed his phone and put it to his ear, listening for Luke as well as the coffee machine as it began to spew out. “You’re making coffee, aren’t you?” Luke perked up.

“Well, when you have a nightmare and wake up at two in the morning you kind of get tired.” He could hear Luke cock an eyebrow,

“You didn’t go back to sleep?” Jon was quiet. Of course he didn’t go back to go back to sleep after the abominable hell that was that dream, but Luke wasn’t aware of what happened. He didn’t reveal the nightmare through the texts he sent. 

“I couldn't, there was something about it. Something I hadn’t ever experienced before. I guess I was too disturbed after I woke up but still. I haven’t had a nightmare since. . .” 

“You don’t think that. . .” he paused for a few seconds, “it’s coming back?” The coffee machine finished making noise. Arm hairs began to stand. Not that, anything but that. 

His body shook as his thoughts took off and he harshly grabbed at the counter with his free hand. Inhaling sharply and unsteadily exhaling as he nervously laughed, “No no no, it can’t be- there is no possible way that it could happen Luke! That was resolved a long time ago and I doubt that it would-”

“The convention,” Jon’s eyes widened, “you're too overwhelmed about the convention.” Luke’s voice had taken a turn from glee to brooding within a matter of a few moments. “We’re not going to do the convention if it means that-”

“Luke! I’m perfectly fine, everything is going to be perfectly fine.” He could feel the hot judgement through the phone, gradually churning and boiling more with every second. He could see the hard cold serious stare that the older would be giving him right now if only he were there with him. He knew it was all there.

Jon opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by Luke before anything could dare escape. “Do you think it would be the right thing to go and do Jon? Think about the risk and reward ratio of all of this. I don’t want you to get to that point where,” he sighed, “it all just happens.” There was even more silence after that but this time it was dead.

Luke cared about him, he was highly aware of it, but this was something they had planned for months on end and to just cancel seemed unorthodox and unreasonable. And what kind of excuse were they going to give after canceling plans that been held out that long? He subconsciously shuddered again, mindlessly staring at the kitchen wall as he bit at the inside of his cheek. “I don't think you are ready, Jon.”

His brows knitted, was he really not? He didn't want to believe that after months of preparing himself for the next week that a nightmare was going to be the stopping point. “Luke,” he weakly started. Millions of combinations of words flowed through him as he began to think. He didn't want to say that wrong thing. He was scared of saying the wrong thing. “I don't know anymore.”

Silence yet again.

“Hey, why don't you come over to my house tomorrow? We can talk face to face about this and afterwards we can just hang out.” Concern tinted with care was in his voice and without realising it, Jon smiled. He loved Luke so much. 

“That sounds like a wonderful plan.”

Luke half-heartedly laughed, “Glad that you think so. Try to get some rest tonight, I'll make damn well sure to send Mr. Sandman to knock your lights out.”

Jon chuckled, “I'll try to.” He was quiett, thinking about what to say like earlier. “I love you, Luke.” The younger could hear the other smile,

“I love you too, Jon. I'll see you tomorrow.” 

“See you then.”

He hesitated to end the call but eventually tapped the red button, almost frowning as he did. There was no possible way it could be crawling back onto him, no way at all. His heart began to pound quicker and quicker. What if it did happen? 

What if someone got hurt because of it? He had harned Luke before but to think of other people made him sick to his stomach. He hadn't thought about that. . . thing. . . for a very long time and to start thinking about it all now was beginning to kick start it.


	2. Let's Talk It Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why didn't you tell me!”
> 
> Luke was slapped with utter confusion, “Tell you what?”
> 
> “That I-” He didn't finish his sentence, instead he reached out and touched Luke's scar. The olders eye widened in shock.
> 
> “You. . . remember?” he paused, taking a deep breath, “How?”

Jon sat down, trusting that a soft familiar sofa would catch him as he fell back with phone in hand. His mind still remained on the dream he had the day before and how vivid it all was. His brows weakly furrowed as he opened Twitter in attempts to escape but like a gosling to its mother, it continued to follow. It reminded him of a shadow. 

Always behind him but never noticed until thought about. Every time it seemed to spiral back and whenever it did he was overwhelmed with a sensation of chilling cold. He flicked up on his screen and scrolled through the continuously long feed full of tweets and updates by friends and companies.

He liked a thing here and there, retweeted a post, saved a piece of fanart he adored. It had to have been a few minutes later but eventually the creaks of Luke walking downstairs tore into the quiet. The younger smiled before putting his phone to sleep and sitting up, awaiting the other.

Luke appeared at the large open frame of his living room with a grin on his face. You could tell he had taken a shower from the semi-dried hair and lightly dampened clothes he had just put on. Jon beamed back. “Hi, Luke.”

“Hi, Jon.” They both chuckled at one another, Jon standing up so they could give each other a hug and of which the older gave him. Luke pulled back a bit with his hands on the shorters shoulders. Jon had a bit of a small frame and when compared to Luke it was extremely small. “I haven't seen your ass in awhile.”

“You wanna see it?” Jon cackled, watching as Lukes eyebrows furrowed and his eye rolled.

“No, I don't ya sicko,” he chuckled along, “You know what I meant.” Their laughter soon died off, leaving them in a void of unadulterated quiet. Luke stared at Jon with concern caught in his brows. It was obvious that he didn’t want to discuss the problem at hand but if they didn’t then they wouldn’t have a plan. 

He needed something to go off of so they could prevent these outbursts from happening. He was well aware that the younger could be thrown into a truly difficult situation if they refused to cancel their plans but he was also very aware that some friends were already on their ways. The thought of simply paying them back came to mind but he needed to get Jons opinion before anything could happen. ¨Let's talk, Jon,” he coaxed, moving away from the other and to the couch.

Jon´s eyes widened a bit as he watched the other move away. ¨I still want them to come over, Luke,¨ he responded calmly. Luke cocked a brow, motioning him to come sit down. He wanted to talk things out, just between the two of them before anything was official. He thought differently about the matter but was willing to listen to whatever spewed out of the youngers mouth. ¨I think. . .¨ he continued, pausing for a few seconds in thought, ¨I think I can control it.¨ 

Now both of Luke´s brows were up, he knew exactly what he was talking about but didn´t know what he meant about ´control´. ¨You can control it?¨ It was silent again.

¨I think I can.¨ He sat down next to him. 

¨Jon-¨

¨I really do think I can now, it hasn't happened for so long that-¨

¨Jon.¨ Jon looked to him, his expression melting in an emotion that the older could only infer to be guilt. ¨You have to tell me the truth,¨ he paused. His own face contorted into something that was soft and understanding but still tainted with confusion and concern. What was he trying to accomplish by telling him that? ¨Do you really think that you can control when it happens and when it goes away? In all seriousness, I feel as if you´re just trying to convince me to let them actually stay. I need you to tell me the truth, we can have a compromise in this situation but if you feed me lies then I don’t know if we can come to one.¨ 

The younger had turned away from him. Luke gently placed his hand on his shoulder in attempts to reassure him that he was there for him. He just wanted Jon to be honest with him and if there was something he was truly terrified of, he wanted to know. 

Jon shook as another sensation of sub-zero swept over him. The name, his name, echoed again, pounding and drilling into his temples with every reverberation. And with Luke right next to him it gradually felt more and more like his head was going to explode. “I-I think I’m getting a migraine.”

Luke took his hand away and carefully stood up, “I’ll get you something.” He left the room in a hurried pace but wasn’t aware of what was actually going on. The name still remained in the youngers mind but the flashes of burgundy and booms came to dance along in the song of torment. A grunt of pain burst past his lips and his hands went to cover his eyes. He was starting to see more than just the damned red and hear past the noises of agony.

He was in a room, with a huge window that dimly lit it all, with vines crawling up the walls, with tatters and tears in the curtains, and with blood strung across the floor. The blood seemed to lead in a trail to something, something huffing and audibly crying. It wasn’t a woman, at least it didn’t sound like a woman, it sounded younger than him to say the least.

But it sounded and looked familiar, way too familiar. “W-why did you do that,” the voice creaked, “my eye, it hurts.” His eye widened to the sizes of baseballs, staring at the hunched figure with fear. “Jon, why did you do that?”

A gust of cold ghosted across his skin making the hairs on his arms stand straight up. “L-Luke?” he stuttered. His eye? What did he mean about his- oh no. He was the one. He could feel hot tears beginning to roll down his cheeks and disbelief spreading through him. He was the one. He looked down to his fingers and blood was dripping off of them, making little taps as they made contact with the floor. 

He was the one. He didn't remember this happening, it had to be one of the things, one of the moments where it had gotten to him. He wished he remembered everything he didn't. Audible gasps for air as Jon began to harshly cry broke the quiet. He was-

“Jon! Hey, what's wrong? Answer me, please!” Two strong hands had grabbed his wrists and pried them away from his wet face. The youngers eyes flashed open. It had become so clear. His stare instantaneously went to the scar that was slashed across Luke's eye. Flickers between the hunched body and his face made more tears poured down as he choked out,

“Why didn't you tell me!”

Luke was slapped with utter confusion, “Tell you what?”

“That I-” He didn't finish his sentence, instead he reached out and touched Luke's scar. The olders eye widened in shock.

“You. . . remember?” he paused, taking a deep breath, “How?”

“That wasn’t a migraine, the dream- that was something that actually happened and what just happened. . .” he paused. Jon didn’t remember anything up until he woke up in the hospital and met Luke and his dad, and anything after that was pieced apart by certain things. Luke had told him that he had gotten into a really bad accident and that he could no longer use his eye, but it had been him. He was the one that blinded him. “I'm remembering things, things I wasn't able to recall. This is helping me in some freakish way.”

Luke went silent, looking down at the floor for a split second before looking back up to him, “Do you think you could remember everything before you woke up in the hospital?” The younger looked almost frightened, he hadn’t considered that but even now he wasn’t too sure that he wanted to even know what happened beforehand. 

Maybe it would give him some closure to know what happened, but what if it didn’t? He was terrified of trying to think about the past, he was afraid that it would trigger the thing. 

“I haven’t thought about t-that,” he sniffed. One of Luke’s hands let go of his wrist and met with his face, wiping away the line of water with his thumb with a sorrowfully sweet smile. Luke was such an amazing person. Jon smiled back but broke out into crushed cries and grabbed for the bearded man’s comforting hand. “I-I’m so sorry I did that to you, you didn’t deserve it. I don’t know why I did that-”

“Jon, you don’t have to be sorry. I’m okay.” Luke pulled his hand away from the younger and pulled him into a tight hug. “I could give less of a shit if I had two working eyes, what matters is that you’re okay. And that you're remembering. I’m so happy that you’re remembering.” Another sniff came from Jon and he yanked at the olders’s t-shirt and tucked his nose into his pale neck. He felt like a child, but he didn’t care.

It had been awhile since there was any noise, any conversation between the two. It was a weird kind of silence. The kind of silence after an argument or disagreement that went south. Jon and Luke were still tangled together, seemingly enjoying this moment with one another. He had always hated crying in front of him since it showed some kind of vulnerability within but, people are vulnerable. . . normal people are vulnerable.

He should be stronger than he is but he can’t help it. Jon wants to control his problems but can’t bear to think about them. He’s too frightened by them. “Do you think that we should still have them over?” Jon whispered. Luke opened his eye and gently pulled away from the smaller to where he stared him right in his baby blue eyes. 

“Yes, I only ask you of one thing however. If you ever feel it creeping back, I want you to tell me. Don’t hide it from me. I want to help you.”


	3. Friends!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He turned off the car before unbuckling and carefully swinging open the door. He was quick to get out and spun around on his heels to face the suspecting others, ¨How you boys doing?¨ he chuckled.
> 
> ¨Boys? I think you mean men,¨ one retorted.
> 
> ¨Yeah! How dare you, we stick our dicks in people now not our dogs!” another added on before getting playfully but sternly slapped.
> 
> “John! You can’t say that, we’re in public!” the next chuckled with a slur.
> 
> The last one laughed, “Oh god.”
> 
> The grin still remained on Luke's face as he listened to his friends bicker. He shut his door before locking it and walking around the car to get closer with arms crossed. “Brock, John, Tyler, Evan. Goddamn, it's been too long since I've seen you guys but John, I actually haven't met you before. I'm sure that your usual first impressions don't start off with bestiality but you know what? It sure made me interested and happy to have the opportunity to get to know you over these next few days.” He held out a hand to the younger which he happily shook with a chuckle.

Jon groaned as beams of light blinded him. He turned onto his side, his fists balling and jumping up to rub at his eyes. “Fuck,” he muttered. Why did the sun have to be so bright? He slowly took his hands away and looked around with half-closed lids. He was slow to note the change in the style of curtains and the colors of indigo and light blue sheets and blankets that were strung across his body, but then as he turned away from the window there was the familiar scent of his best friend that flooded over him after he shoved his face into one of the pillows and he knew exactly where he was.

He wasn’t in his house like he thought he had been but he didn't have a problem with it. His eyes tightly shut in hopes he could go back to sleep but, he couldn’t. The light was seemingly bothering him more than he had thought it would have and Luke must’ve left them (the curtains) open so he could wake up at a responsible time. His hand brushed back his hair and he huffed as his lids fluttered open to stare at the ceiling. Usually Luke was still in bed with him when he stayed over and woke up the morning after.

Jon would typically pull on certain parts of the older’s ginger beard or put his finger in his ear just to mess around with him and to also kind of wake him up if he had been awake for a while. So, to not be able to do that bummed him out a bit. Luke was probably trying to make breakfast or was doing work downstairs. He deeply sighed before he threw the blankets off, a disgruntled noise escaping him as he twisted his body to throw his legs off the edge.

His toes were greeted as they touched the slightly warmed floor and the bed weakly creaked as he lifted himself off of it. Jon groaned as he stretched his arms above his head, his body felt strained and frail. He didn't necessarily sleep all too well but he thankfully also didn't have a nightmare. In fact, he hadn't had a single nightmare during the past few days that he had slept over with Luke which he found to be really delightful.  
Maybe he had become some sort of soothing source to his mind, or maybe he always had been. His eyes drifted up to the window and a smile instantly had crossed his lips. Trumpet vine. He didn't even notice it the past two days which was probably because the curtains had been left shut the entire time but coils and lines of trumpet vine stretched across the outside of the window. They had grown tall, taller than last year that was definitely for sure. He mentally bet that it had consumed the entire wall outside with its stems and gorgeous flowers which made him grin wider. 

Jon had always loved the plant and had a very tiny one growing in his backyard too. He never really knew why he had loved it so much but he connected it to one thing that could be the culprit. 

Jon and he had lived together for several years in a pretty run down house after Luke’s dad had unfortunately passed but when they had really started making a profit from doing the stuff they loved then it gave them both the ability to split off from one another and live in their own houses. Their old house had a ton of trumpet vine when they had moved in and at one point, it was considered more of a pest than a plant after it had completely blacked out several windows and had made its way into the garden where it brought havoc and killed off a good portion of their garden. When Luke went on his way he lived in an apartment for a few months to save up a bit more before dispersing and moving into the house he has now. . .

when they did part ways he felt like a part of his life had fallen away from him, it was one hell of a change he had to get over. At times he felt lonely even when he was playing a game with him on the computer or talking over the phone after a long day. Or even at particular moments he would feel saddened as he thought back to everything that they used to do together and how things aren’t as simple as they used to be. . . when their worlds weren't as crazy and he didn't have to worry about his face or what a large number of people thought about him or what would happen if. . . ah, his face. 

Luke has told him countless times about his face and how amazing it is and just over exaggerating his appearance in his opinion. He almost felt weird when people brought up his face reveal. He was perfectly fine with the fandom creating their own versions of him whether it be through writing or art, he actually read and looked at some of that stuff every once in a while. He just loved the creative flow it brought to people. 

But, there was more to it than just the fandom. There was a security aspect to him hiding his face the way he did. He didn't want others to do reverse image searches and find personal details about him nor his family (Luke and anything about his dad). Him walking down the street after revealing his characteristics only to be bombarded by muggers or a few too excited fans made the hairs on his arms stand. He didn't want to have to look over his shoulder every minute of every day, and he didn't want it to be that way for Luke either. After everything they have been through, that was the very last thing he wanted the other to put up with, that is, if he even did put up with it. 

It wasn't even just a security issue, it was also an insecurity issue. He honestly didn’t think he looked too amazing, hell, who was he kidding, he hated the way he looked. His face turned somewhat expressionless when he began to list everything off in his head. His freckles were weird, his hair was pitch black and never went the way he wanted it to go, his eyes were ugly and droopy, he had tattoos that were fading, his lips were too feminine, there were scars all over his body, his skin was really strange and weirdly toned in certain places, he could go on and on and on.

Luke tried to support him at times but he always denied it or pushed him away from the subject. It was played off with a laugh but he knows that Luke knows. He despised himself even more than he already had after finding out that he had blinded Luke. He couldn't get the image of his friend and the blood out of his head. Back to that again. . . he swore his damn mind was like a maze that never had an end and spiraled on forever. 

He could see it, the water he saw in his dream was green like and mossy so it wasn’t like he was a swimming pool, well, unless that swimming pool was the size of a lake. It was like the lakes him and Luke always played in when they were younger and like the one that Luke now had just a few yards away from his house. Luke had always joked about him having a connection to the forest from what they’ve done as teenagers but now that he was considering where they had found him and the newfound nightmares that were circling around his mind like starving vultures, it didn’t seem to be too far off from the truth. He had so many questions that were unanswered. And hopefully- hopefully, these dreams and visions he has been having will assist him in their sickly manner.

His brows furrowed in pain, a bang sounding off. It still hurt to think about it all, but not nearly as much as it did when it first started. He turned away from the window. Jon softly sighed in sorrow. ¨Luke,¨ he whispered, rubbing at his arm to try to comfort himself in the presence of silence. There was something off he couldn't put into coherent thoughts, but it was there like he had forgotten something really important that he was supposed to remember. He was already frustrated, so he dropped the thoughts as quickly as he could and turned back to the glass panels. There was a lot he was uncomfortable with and a lot that he hated and Luke was never one to step over the line and yank him past it unless that said thing was going to the supermarket at almost one in the morning back when they lived together. 

Jonathan traveled across the room and in front of the window and allowed his hands ghosting the glass where the trumpet vine met. Flowers had not a care in the world, or maybe they did when bees didn't pollinate them or when they began to wilt in the darkness. But, they are technically unable of thinking no matter how much his imagination told him that they could.

Maybe they would grow eyes, rip their roots from their pots and beds, and run away from the bearded man who watered them to go live by the river and start a family with themselves. He made himself laugh with the thought of Luke staring in bewilderment with his single eye and thinking that he smoked the wrong kind of plant as his flowers jumped the fence and went into the forest to never be seen again. Colors of amber, canary, and crimson swayed together in one big cluster below the window, dancing all together to the song of solitude. He took his hand away from the window, allowing it to fall to his side before realizing he probably marked up the window with smudges. Another sigh came from him, he was going to have to go get the glass cleaner. He slowly drifted away from the window and started toward the doorway where he walked out and stood for a second. 

He yawned as he began down the hallway, noticing that Luke had gotten a new plant since the last time he came over. Jon paused for a second and stared at it before continuing to walk to the stairs. There were a lot of new little trinkets that were here and there that he noticed but assumed that they were just things to transition from the spring to the summer. Luke was a goddamn mom when it came to decorating but hey, he wasn't going to tease him for it. It all looked genuinely nice and felt cozy.

He lightly chuckled when he went back to the mom thing and how accurate it really was. It wasn't just the decorating but the cleaning and commands as well. If he didn't make the bed after getting up then was playfully scolded, or if he was messing around with something he ‘wasn't supposed to be messing with’ then he was jokingly slapped on the hand. Which is also another reason behind him needing to get the glass cleaner. He can only imagine Luke freaking out about it. 

His smile remained as he called out for his friend, “Luke!” He got to where the staircase started it's descent and went down a step but didn't move when there wasn't a response. Eyebrows sadly furrowed as he stood there waiting. Maybe he had actually gone out? “Luke?” he called out again. Nothing. A major frown was on his lips, he didn't think he would have gone out without him. Jon could feel his eyes begin to sting but quickly stopped them. ¨It isn't a problem, you don't need to worry.¨ Worry was beginning to set in, he could feel it start at his feet and shoot up to his head within a matter of a few seconds. 

A shaky sigh came from him. He could have at least woken him up before he left and told him goodbye and where he was running off to. For all he knew he could have had another weird vision thing and he would be all alone! Well, though he was alone during the first time but. . . it seemed to be progressively getting worse and worse.

So much for getting his hopes up. Jon didn't know why he thought Luke would have been cooking now that he thought about it, the fire alarm would have woken him up before Luke could. A smirk came onto his lips with that one but was quick to run away. If he wasn't here then he might as well make himself a bowl of cereal and eat before he got back. He huffed as he went to go down the stairs but something interrupted him. A little friend meowed and was rubbing at his leg with its fluffy head. It scared him at first, but he was delighted to see the critter. Jon's eyes widened with the contact but were quick to go back to how they were. ¨Oh, hi there kitten.¨ 

Purrs erupted from the feline as it began to twist itself between his legs. The man smiled and picked up the cat, ¨You haven't seen me in a while, have you?” It seemed to reply to him through a light meow and started to rub its head into his chest. What an adorable thing. ¨Well, I missed you too. I bet Luke fed you before he left but I can't be too sure. Old Man Jenkins forgets stuff sometimes, so let's go check, shall we?¨ Jon weakly giggled to himself as they began on their adventure down the steps, both unknowing of what was to happen today.

Luke turned the knob for the radio until he couldn't hear it anymore. Trees that seemed to go on in a line forever now finally began to piece apart along with the dirt road that faded into asphalt. He had left the house about an hour ago and texted Jon before he had completely taken off, so he hoped the younger wouldn't get fussy with him for quote on quote ‘not telling him where he went’. But, he understood why he did get all pouty and aggravated with him when he happened to let it slip from his mind and walk out the door, with what has happened in the past he didn’t blame him for acting that way. The blank slate of his face changed as his brows slightly furrowed and his lips fell into a frown. He was nervous about everything, to say the least. He passed over a bridge, the car jumped a bit. There was so much to consider and so much that could happen within moment’s notice, especially when it came to Jon. A river followed along near the side of the road where cattails and long grasses sprung up to provide an environment for all critters. Telephone lines that were once hidden were now revealing themselves to the man.

He loved his friends and the new one he was going to try and make today, but he loved them, in a friend like manner of course. Brock was married to a wonderful woman and had a beautiful baby girl. Tyler was still with his amazing girlfriend, and Evan wasn't dating anyone and from what he heard from a private conversation before recording, he didn't want to date again for a while. He didn't exactly know about John and his relationship status but it still followed that platonic kind of love his old ass had for them. Speaking of old, he was excited to get to talk to his buddy, Brock, seeing as how they both were parts of the prehistoric man squad within their groups. 

A sigh came out, he blinked. He really and truly hoped everything would be alright over these next few days. Jon seemed to be gleeful to finally meet his friends in person but as equally as he was terrified. He had reconsidered having them over after Jon had called him a few days ago, but it was too late to try and cancel anything. It also would have been a dick move on his behalf since they had talked about this for months and he hadn’t sat down with Jon to actually talk it over. They were all waiting for him at a restaurant nearby the airport that some had gotten in an uber to while others drove themselves. Since they came in the morning they all agreed on a small diner to get them up and at em. A cup of black coffee and some good ass pancakes was something he wanted right now. His stomach grumbled. Yeah, maybe not wanted but desired. His mind wandered from the newcomers and breakfast and back around to Jon. 

There was a lot he was going to have to do to hide the reminiscence of what Jon has done, the scar over his eye was something he wouldn't be able to cover but the scars on the rest of his body were. Long sleeves and jeans for the rest of the week was something he could do, well, unless it got really hot or his air conditioner decided to die out on them. He would also have to make sure that the guys didn’t get into personal stuff he had underneath the stairs because that would result in a disaster that would be more than he could ever bear. 

Luke bit his lip in thought, Jon doesn’t even know that there are things under the stairs or that he can even get in there. And it wasn’t like he had a drug or weapon stash, but it was certain things that would make Jon feel lied to. . . betrayed, deceived, cheated, literally anything that has to do with the feeling of being stabbed in the back. He hated that he had that stuff and kept it away from Jon but it was important, extremely important. But that wasn’t his worst fear when it came to the younger, he was going to figure it out eventually whether he wanted him to or not.

His worst fear was his little brother getting hurt emotionally or physically. . .or even by. . .

Luke's eye widened as he stared breathlessly at the road, a shiver ripping up his spine that forced him to sit up straight. As much as he tried to keep that shit away from the mind it still always found its way back like some demented bloodhound that had his scent. His thoughts were taken over with crimson rivers cascading down Jon and broken screams and cries coming from the younger. 

A twitch of pain shot through his scar and he grunted loudly, his hand reaching up to stop it. He almost swerved off the road in the process but the pain was short lived. “Fuck,” he cursed under his breath, bringing his attention fully back to the road and gripping onto the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. This same thing nearly happened when Jon had first come over and they talked. And of which typically didn't happen unless he had a really really bad nightmare. Luke took deep breaths, trying to calm himself down before something else were to happen and he spun the car out of control. He was about ten minutes away now, he had to keep himself calm and act unknowingly. 

Jon was a surprise after all, they just made it seem that they were staying with Luke for a few days and that they weren’t going to see the friend that they’ve known for several years face for the first time. There was a lot he was going to have to do, almost too much, but he was up for the challenge. Jon was his friend, his brother, and he was not going to refuse to help him.

If he already went to hell and back with him then why would he stop now? The other things that have happened were only demons and now, they were dealing with the man himself.

The ten minutes flew by quicker than he thought they would have but when you’re out here in the middle of buttfuck nowhere it’s almost like going through time anomalies. Luke didn't mind though, he never did. He would rather get lost on winding roads in the mountains and in heavily thick woods for hours on end than get to his destination within the blink of an eye. A smile punched away the neutral expression as he pulled up to the restaurant, parking a bit away from the front but near the oh so familiar figures that were standing outside and seemingly laughing. 

He turned off the car before unbuckling and carefully swinging open the door. He was quick to get out and spun around on his heels to face the suspecting others, ¨How you boys doing?¨ he chuckled.

¨Boys? I think you mean men,¨ one retorted.

¨Yeah! How dare you, we stick our dicks in people now not our dogs!” another added on before getting playfully but sternly slapped.

“John! You can’t say that, we’re in public!” the next chuckled with a slur.

The last one laughed, “Oh god.”

The grin still remained on Luke's face as he listened to his friends bicker. He shut his door before locking it and walking around the car to get closer with arms crossed. “Brock, John, Tyler, Evan. Goddamn, it's been too long since I've seen you guys but John, I actually haven't met you before. I'm sure that your usual first impressions don't start off with bestiality but you know what? It sure made me interested and happy to have the opportunity to get to know you over these next few days.” He held out a hand to the younger which he happily shook with a chuckle. 

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Both brows rose as he noticed the colors on his nails. Jonathan went through a phase where he painted his nails and he allowed the younger to paint his as well. There would be times where he would drop the brush or get nail polish everywhere on their fingers but he could have cared less in those times. Maybe he would be up for doing that with Jon. The smile on his face seemed to grow a bit larger as old bittersweet memories came crashing into him. He missed being younger every once in a while if it meant not having all sorts of medical issues but more restrictions on life then he was up for it. 

“I like your nails,” Luke complimented. The younger looked down for a split second and then widely smiled but the expression quickly faded as he stared at the older’s face, his lips forming into an 'o’ shape. Luke's eye swiftly traveled up and he instantly understood what was going on. But he wasn't going to make this situation darker, he was going to make it lighter. . . “Oh haha, don't worry about the scars kid, I might look like I've been through hell itself, well in a way I have, but the scars weren't a part of that circus. Some things just happen in life that you can't prevent and, lo and behold, I'm blind in one eye. Who needs two eyes anyways, I can still drive just as well with one!” Luke pulled John a bit closer by the hand and put his other hand up to whisper. “Don't tell the others, but I ran over my bitchy neighbor on the way here which I could blame on my eye, but just between you and me it was intentional whether I had both or not.”

John burst out in a light giggle which quickly turned into a roar of laughter. Luke laughed just as hard before it died out and he patted the younger on the side of his arm, letting go to greet the next. 

Brock walked over with a grand smile on his face, “How are you doing old man?”

“Pft,” Luke snickered, “that same thing could be asked of yourself, ya know?” Both men opened their arms and collided with a hug. There was nothing in the world that could compare to a hug from Brock. Each one was like busting through the door of your grandmother's house to find that she not only made cookies but also pie just for you. They let go of one another and stared for a bit before letting out chuckles. The younger moved to the side and allowed for the next person to have their turn which happened to be Tyler. 

“How have you been?” he asked with his arms wide open and a grin on his face. 

“Good, really good. You seem tired,” he cocked a brow, a large smile on his face too. Slowly the older pulled in the taller and gave him a few pats.

“That's because I am,” he weakly laughed. That explained the messy hair and slurred voice from earlier. Hopefully, he didn’t fall asleep while driving on the way there. Tyler slowly stepped next to Brock who he absolutely towered over. Evan was the last one to go. He honestly hadn’t been around the younger as much as he has wanted to be, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to treat him any differently. He had pretty neutral expression but once Luke had a ridiculous face and spread his legs while in a crouch, a confused but humored smile slowly snuck onto the Canadian’s face.

“Bring it in you majestic beast,” he goofed. Brock and John laughed but Tyler remained quiet with a giant smile. Evan gradually broke apart and began to cackle before finally throwing open his arms and giving the older a hug. “Haha! See, you're not invulnerable to my antics.”

“I realized that,” he said, pulling himself away with a chuckle before brushing a strand of black out of his face.

All four of them were finally here after months of planning, maneuvering, and convincing and damn did it feel amazing. The lingering previous thought of canceling for Jon and the chaos that could ensue fled from him in this moment. Luke was overwhelmed with jubilance and let the happiness take over this rationality. But hey, it could all be a part of the act of pretending everything is peachy keen. “I’m sure after all the traveling that you guys are pretty damn hungry, so let’s go inside, shall we?”

“We shall,” said Brock, looking to Tyler to check on him before giggling and moving away. Tyler had his eyes half closed and drool practically running out of his mouth. He didn't really get as much sleep as the others thought he would have, but then again, he was the one to pick up Brock and drive him here since they were pretty close state wise. It made John laugh too as he waved a hand in front of his face to get some kind of response which Tyler slapped away and began to whine like a toddler about how he needed a nap. They began to walk toward the front door of the diner, Evan had a small smile playing at his lips and rolled his eyes at Tyler.

“You can take a nap when we get in the car to Luk-”

“But I have to drive!” He rubbed at his eyes with his shirt sleeves and got another look from Evan.

“You have Brock! He can follow Luke when we get done eating!”

“But mom!” Tyler held out the ‘o’ before tiredly laughed, Evan let out a short giggle as everyone joined in.

John went forward and held open the door as they shuffled into the building with stomachs rumbling and food on their minds. Breakfast was going to be one hell of a time with a tired Tyler but they were up for it. It would be something to tease him with later on down the line or even over the next few days. Something they could look back at and laugh and enjoy. 

Luke pulled his keys from his pocket, searching through the bits of metal with one hand until he found the one that went to the front door. That was definitely one hell of a breakfast that they just had. He let out a small burp before taking a quick sip from the coffee that he got to go and smiled. John had ordered a quad stack of flapjacks that Tyler nearly landed face first into along with his own food. Brock and Evan got the same exact thing without talking and high fived each other and Luke, well, he just got some blueberry pancakes and that cup of coffee that he had yearned for. His eye widened as he heard a crash from behind him before his head whipped around to see what had happened. A short chuckle burst out of him as he watched Evan lose some more luggage from Tyler ramming into his side. 

“Tyler!” he screeched, grabbing for one of the cases. “I have my computer in that bag!”

Tyler lightly laughed before it fell into something that sounded like an elk screaming. Evan laughed at the weird sound, dropping another thing of luggage. 

“I’m tired, I’m sorry!” 

“No, you’re not!” Evan picked up his bags that he had dropped and waddled away from the other as fast as he possibly could. Tyler chuckled again as he watched and began to run after the other which got a frightened response from him. “Stop!” he screeched again, nearly dropping another thing as he began to sprint faster. 

Brock had a brow cocked as he was helping John get some of his stuff out of the car to get it into the house once Luke had unlocked the front door. His fatherly instincts kicked in, “Tyler! Leave him alone!” Luke laughed harder as Evan got closer to him and began to beg to get inside the house before he destroyed something in his bag. The older quickly opened the door and let him shuffle inside. 

“Just put your stuff on the floor unless you want to go into that room right there and lay it on the couch.” Luke motioned where with his hands, grin still stuck on his face. “I need to put down my coffee,” he paused and whipped his head to Brock, “I’ll be right back out! Don’t try to get all that stuff on your own Brockosaurus.”

Tyler was still trying to get ahold of Evan as he marched his way into the living room with arms sprawled open. The older sat his luggage carefully on the couch, making sure that the bags with breakable items were closer to the back, however, his attention was brought away from that as big huffs sounded off from behind. Evan slowly turned around with a smile and furrowed brows to see Tyler standing there. “You should lie down,” he chuckled. 

Tyler gave him a confused look at first but gradually it turned into a large and agape grin as the realization hit him, “SLEEP!” He squealed like a girl at a Korean boy band concert before taking a running start and leaping into the cushions of the couch. Evan rolled his eyes and let off a short laugh before shifting back to his bags which had been added onto by John. 

“Oh, thank you, John,” he mumbled.

“No problem,” he said in return, turning on his heels and shooting of finger guns at the older as he went to go help Brock out who was now coming through the open frame of the room with bags on top of bags.

Luke rushed into the kitchen with his coffee cup and placed it onto the island counter before pulling his phone out of his pocket for the first time since he had left the house to check if Jon had texted him, but there was nothing. He cocked a brow and shoved his phone back into his pocket before turning to the countertop next to him and nearly screaming. “What the actual fuck are you doing in here? You’re in your godamn underwear and we have company! Remember?” Luke angrily whispered, looking over his shoulder to make sure the others weren’t coming in.

Jon sat there with eyes widened to the size of baseballs as he sat and pet Luke’s cat on the counter. He cocked a brow at what the older just said before his face was overcome with realization and boy did it hit him hard. “What was today!?-” Luke slapped a hand over Jon’s mouth and held up a finger up to his own. He slowly removed his finger from his mouth and motioned with his eyes and head to the doorway of the kitchen.

“Hurry up and get upstairs before they see you.”


End file.
